Never say NO to a hostage taker – it’s in the negotiation manual!

These are the words uttered by Danny Roman (Samuel L Jackson) in the film “The Negotiator” (Warner Bros,1998).

Danny is an expert hostage negotiator in the Chicago PD and has been framed by internal affairs for a crime he did not commit. In a bizarre Hollywood plot, he has decided to take hostages in a government building in order to clear his name. Unable to trust any of his colleagues, he asks to speak to an independent hostage negotiator named Chris Sabian (Kevin Spacey), but as he is not immediately available, Danny is put in contact with a less experienced negotiator (Harley). During one particularly tense scene, the mismatch in expertise between the two soon becomes apparent, as the more experienced negotiator takes control of the phone conversation like a wild animal toying with its prey.

Danny starts his dialogue with a series of demands (e.g. “Can I see a priest?”) that he knows his counterpart can’t agree to. On each occasion, Harley predictably responds with the word “NO“, at which point Danny delivers lesson number 1 of hostage negotiating – “Never say NO to a hostage taker – it’s in the manual!”. Clearly, yes would not be an appropriate answer either, as agreeing to a series of unreasonable demands would not benefit the hostages.

There are parallels here with business negotiations and the impact of language. As Danny explains during the film, “Never use no, don’t, won’t or can’t” in a negotiation as it “eliminates options”. Too often, inexperienced negotiators kill the negotiation with negative language that affects the momentum of the deal. Their apparent intransigence means that neither party can see a resolution to the situation as they stick to their positions. In any negotiation, especially collaborative ones, having options is crucial in order to resolve disputes or disagreements. Options provide a way forward by exploring the leverage you have to get the deal you want. So, if you can’t immediately say yes and don’t want to say no, what should you do?

Adopt a how mindset by using phrases such as “I’ll see what I can do” or ” I’ll look into that”. It doesn’t commit to agreement or disagreement but signals to your counterpart that you’re willing to consider options in order to move forward. Creative negotiators find ways of building value together by exploring options and understanding the other party’s interests. Focusing the other party on what they can do rather than what they can’t, also helps resolve disputes.

The next time you find yourself in a deadlock situation, think of Danny’s wise words.